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What does community mean when privacy still matters?
For anyone accustomed to living independently, the idea of ‘community’ can raise as many questions as it answers. The reality can be far more individual.
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A community without obligation
The word ‘community’ is often presented as an unquestionable benefit of later living. Yet for someone who already has friends, interests and an established way of life, it can suggest something rather different: organised activities, expected participation and a degree of togetherness they may neither need nor want.
It is an understandable concern, but it rests on a narrow idea of what community can be. At its best, community is not measured by how often someone joins in. It is found in the familiarity that develops around everyday life: recognising someone over breakfast, an unexpected conversation after a talk, knowing who you might ask to join you for dinner, or simply seeing familiar faces as you come and go.
These relationships are difficult to manufacture, and perhaps that is the point. Shared spaces and cultural programmes can create the conditions for people to meet, but genuine connection tends to develop through repeated encounters and common interests. Over time, acquaintances become friends, while others remain simply pleasant company. Both have value.
Privacy is equally important. A private home remains precisely that: somewhere to entertain existing friends and family, spend an evening alone, order dinner, leave for a month or close the front door without explanation. Some people will embrace a busy social calendar; others may participate occasionally or hardly at all. There need be no preferred version of resident life.
What changes is not the freedom to be alone, but the ease with which company can be found when wanted. For someone living alone after many years with a partner, that may acquire particular significance. For others, it may simply make an ordinary day more interesting.
Perhaps the most successful communities are therefore the ones that ask least of their members. They provide familiarity without intrusion, companionship without expectation and a sense of belonging that does not depend upon being seen to belong.
I’m perfectly happy in my own company, but that doesn’t mean I always want it. There’s a difference between choosing to be alone and finding yourself alone more often than you intended. What I value here is the ease of companionship. There is usually someone to have a coffee with, share a meal or ask if they fancy doing something. It doesn’t need to be planned or become a great social occasion. Companionship has simply become part of everyday life again, without ever taking it over.
Auriens Resident
Related Considerations
How does community happen naturally?
The strongest social connections often begin with repetition rather than introduction. Seeing the same people over breakfast, exchanging views after a concert or recognising someone from the gym gradually creates familiarity. Relationships develop because lives cross naturally and repeatedly. At Auriens, restaurants, cultural programming and shared spaces create that possibility...
Who shapes a community?
Amenities may attract people to a place, but they rarely determine whether it remains interesting. That depends on the people themselves. Auriens residents bring different careers, cultures, interests, friendships and experiences with them; what they share is less a particular background than an appetite for continuing to engage with life....
What if my life already feels full?
A move does not require replacing an existing social world with a new one. Long-standing friendships, family relationships, memberships, travel and familiar London routines can continue much as before. The difference is that another layer becomes available closer to home. A friend might join you for dinner at Auriens; a...
Auriens perspective
Like a good neighbour, never an intrusion
I sometimes liken the team to a good neighbour. We're very much there, but we never interfere with anyone's day, we're simply ready the moment we're needed. Everyone has a different desired level of engagement, much like any private members' club. Some residents come for the food, some for the connections, some prefer just the pool and their own company. Nobody is ever expected to join in. But over time, as people get to know their neighbours, they'll often come along for a dinner, a Friday night or a film, in their own time.
It's the small things that give people back their peace
I believe it's the small things that make the biggest difference. Not having to worry about bothersome distractions gives residents a real sense of freedom. We take care of the mail, the parking tickets, the niggly little things with a phone or an email, all the things that occupy not just someone's time but their peace of mind. There's always a helpful concierge at their service, whether that's in person, on the phone or over WhatsApp.
Getting to know someone takes patience, not questions
Every new resident is given the time and space to settle in. I like the idea of attraction over promotion, when people see the help on offer, they're naturally drawn in, rather than asked to engage before they're ready. Often it's the small conversations, about the news or something on the high street, where residents open up, and that's when the connection really grows.
Perhaps the next step is simply to experience it
A conversation, coffee morning or visit can be a useful first step – an opportunity to experience Auriens without expectation and consider, in your own time, whether it might be right for you.
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2 Dovehouse Street
London, SW3 6BF
020 4549 8000
Auriens is a member of ARCO, which represents Integrated Retirement Communities in Great Britain. As an ‘Approved Operator’, Auriens aims to comply at all times with the requirements of the ARCO Consumer Code.