Planning Later Life Care as a Couple When Your Needs Are Different

For couples planning their next chapter together, being realistic about this possibility can make it easier to plan meaningfully, while the choices are still yours to make.

In this guide we will explore the options available to couples with differing care needs, along with the relevant considerations when deciding what your next chapter will look like.

Here’s what we’ll cover:

• When couples have different care needs
• What to think about when planning care as a couple
• How Auriens supports couples with different needs
• Getting advice on later life care as a couple

When Couples Have Different Care Needs

When two people spend their lives together, it is rare for them to age at the same pace. More commonly, their support needs can begin to differ in nature and magnitude. This can invite concerns about whether differing needs will make it harder - or impossible - to remain living together, but in many cases it does not.

With the right planning, differing needs need not, in many cases, mean living apart. A significant determining factor is giving yourself ample time to understand the options available, to discuss them between yourselves and with other relevant parties (loved ones, solicitors, and so on), and to enact your decision while you still have the time, means and agency to do so.

What to Think About When Planning Care as a Couple

Sound later life decisions generally involve the people whose lives they will directly impact, and are made in good time and with confidence that the means are in place to enact them.

Making the Decision Together

Care decisions are best made jointly, as most significant decisions in a marriage are, even when your needs differ.

Having honest conversations about later life planning can help you to understand each other’s opinions and preferences, and to approach impactful decisions from a place of shared understanding. Care planning can be treated as a joint decision, like the many others you have made together in your time as a couple.

Financial Planning for Two Care Journeys

There are practical considerations when planning for two care journeys, especially when each of your requirements differ and may continue to evolve at different rates. 

Opening discussions with a solicitor or financial advisor in good time can help to ensure that the financing for your care arrangements is structured appropriately, before decisions become pressing. It can also mean that, as needs change, the funding is already arranged.

Plan Early, While Both Partners Have a Voice

The core thread running through our recommendations for planning later life care as a couple is to have conversations early. The earlier you begin discussing and planning, the more options you both generally retain, and the more time you have to consider decisions.

When conversations are forced by events rather than being made in advance, the range of available options can narrow. Decisions made under pressure are rarely the best ones.

Planning ahead also means that if and when either of your needs change, support can increase in line with them rather than through a disruptive upheaval. In many cases, this means one partner does not have to take on the role of carer, and you can remain each other’s partner first and foremost. Our guide to planning for later life care explores the process in more detail.

How Auriens Supports Couples with Different Needs

At Auriens, we offer our residents the chance to live independently, with care available as and when required - and which scales with evolving needs. This means couples can generally continue living together in the same apartment, each receiving the type and level of care appropriate to their needs.

To demonstrate what this means in practical terms, we offer the following as part of our personalised care provision:

• 24/7 care, provided by our sister company Draycott Nursing & Care with a Night Concierge Carer for after-hours support
• All levels of support from companionship through to live-in, nurse-led care, tailored to our residents’ evolving needs
• An in-house Wellbeing Manager and Support Coordinator available to help coordinate care
• Post-operative care delivered through one coordinated team 
• Emergency call consoles and wearable alarms for peace of mind
• A suite of wellbeing and health and fitness facilities to encourage living well before and alongside care

When you make the decision to move to Auriens, you and your partner will have ongoing dialogue with our care team to help meet your current and evolving needs. As far as circumstances allow, you will be able to live together in your own space, with required care provided discreetly and unobtrusively.

Getting Advice on Later Life Care as a Couple

As a couple planning later life together, differing needs need not dictate the shape of your life together. By planning together early you can keep a wider range of options open, and by involving the appropriate advisors and seeking the right information you lay the groundwork for a next chapter spent together while both receiving the required care.

Auriens offers a community in which non-intrusive care is provided as and when required. To learn about what your next chapter at Auriens could look like and how it can cater to your current and evolving care needs, you can get in touch. 

You can also learn more about our care and support provision here, including requesting our brochure which gives more detailed information.